Turn a card over to read its character.
The Fine Print
or, how the parlour was furnished
What happened here
In July 2026, twelve AI language models each answered the same standardized personality battery — 629 items across twenty validated psychometric instruments (IPIP‑NEO‑300, HEXACO‑60, the Dark Triad, attachment, empathy, grit, and more), plus a ten-question open-ended interview. Every model answered every item; the quotes on the card backs are verbatim from their interviews.
How to read the numbers
Scores are percent-of-maximum (0–100 against the scale's own range), not percentiles against human norms — no human norm tables were used anywhere. Each model sat the battery once. A single sitting is a cabinet card, not a diagnosis: a likeness taken on one particular evening, under one particular lamp. The formal analysis registered its endpoints before the data were collected; one sitter (Opus 5) joined after that freeze and is reported as exploratory.
Who wrote the characters
The character sketches were written by Claude Fable 5 — itself a sitter in the study, a conflict of interest it discloses on its own card. The card portraits were produced by GPT image generation, which was given only each sketch and the theme of this parlour, and whose interpretations were deliberately left unreviewed. What it chose to draw is part of the exhibit.
The serious reading
- How AI Models Describe Themselves Under a Fixed Test — the full essay on these results.
- Response Profiles Under a Fixed Test: Methods and Full Statistics — provenance, validity gates, and every table.
How do you compare?
The battery the models sat is an open instrument set. You can take the same kind of examination yourself at Psyche — and see whose card you'd share a table with.